Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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