you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Randomize
