saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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