Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
