He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize