is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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