I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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