I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
