I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
