can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Floor bacon is actually really good
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
