Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
