i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
