Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
