Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
