feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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