Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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