Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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