I accidentally burped into my bong.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
