I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
