you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
