the new term for farting is butt boxing.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
