You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize