I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
