And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
