Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i think my cat just said my name.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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