I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just had sex on a roof
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
