where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize