no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Couch. On fire.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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