Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he was CRYING into my vagina
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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