I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I said "one day" and that day is not today
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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