how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
