Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
