If that was your dad, he is hot
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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