So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
