No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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