I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
