Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
