so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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