Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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