still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
