You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
