lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Randomize
