Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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