Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
