We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
