Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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