I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
