Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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