He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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