And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
