His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
