Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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