My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
