i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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