i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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