I wish I could punch you in the face.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
