would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
