Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
