like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
